Overcoming loneliness

The importance of being connected with other people has long been established, and for one reason or another we can easily become disconnected from our partners, family and friends. This can have a significant impact on our mental health. While some people need to be surrounded by many others, and some only need a few key people around them to feel supported, we do need connection with other human beings.

The 2018 Australian Loneliness Report revealed that one in four Australians reported feeling lonely each week. It was also found that one in two people sometimes or always feel alone and 30 per cent of people say they don’t belong to a friendship group. Exact figures on loneliness and isolation can be hard to obtain, because respondents are sometimes reticent to name their loneliness due to the stigma.

Loneliness can strike whether you're connected to social networks or not. So, the question is how do you overcome it? Here is some suggestions to help.

1. Understand and acknowledge your loneliness
   The first step to improving things is to understand and acknowledge the problem, and this is a difficult one because there is a perceived stigma associated with acknowledging that you're lonely.
2. Don't be afraid of small talk
   When you're looking to connect with other people, start small. Making connections can be linked to confidence — and if you're shy or haven't been socially engaged for a while, building your confidence is important. So, get out and about in public places, and actively look for opportunities to talk to others. For example, go to the local coffee shop and start saying hello and having a brief chat. If you have a dog, chat to other pet owners in the park and learn their names to help you feel more connected in your neighbourhood.
3. Seek treatment for underlying mental health issues
   Mental health issues can contribute to social isolation and loneliness. If your anxiety, depression or other mental health condition is holding you back from engaging socially, it's important to seek treatment. Start with your GP and consider seeing a psychologist or counsellor at Mates4Mates. 
4. Build relationships through listening
   It might sound silly, but if you want to build relationships with others, it's a good idea to practise listening. Ask questions and really hear the answers, rather than just waiting for a turn to talk. When we feel socially anxious, we can actually become very self-absorbed. It becomes all about, ‘Am I saying the right thing? Are they responding positively? Do they look like they hate me?’ Rather than stopping and thinking, 'Well, actually there's two of us in this conversation and I should be actively listening to what's happening with them'.
5. Join a special interest group
   Participation in clubs and sporting groups is a buffer against loneliness. Some people can find their people, find their tribe or find their group and that makes it easier to make new connections.Consider finding a hobby, sport or learning something new. You could enrol in a course at your local TAFE or PCYC or look for groups at your local library or community centre that might interest you. What about a book club or a drawing class?